Urban Fantasy Review: The Zero Dog War by Keith Melton

The Zero Dog War by Keith Melton (Zero Dog Missions #1)

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Synopsis from Goodreads
The first bullet is always free. After that, you gotta pay.

After accidentally blowing up both a client facility and a cushy city contract in the same day, pyromancer and mercenary captain Andrea Walker is scrambling to save her Zero Dogs. A team including (but not limited to) a sexually repressed succubus, a werewolf with a thing for health food, a sarcastic tank driver/aspiring romance novelist, a three-hundred-pound calico cat, and a massive demon who really loves to blow stuff up.

With the bankruptcy vultures circling, Homeland Security throws her a high-paying, short-term contract even the Zero Dogs can’t screw up: destroy a capitalist necromancer bent on dominating the gelatin industry with an all-zombie workforce. The catch? She has to take on Special Forces Captain Jake Sanders, a man who threatens both the existence of the team and Andrea’s deliberate avoidance of romantic entanglements.

As Andrea strains to hold her dysfunctional team together long enough to derail the corporate zombie apocalypse, the prospect of getting her heart run over by a tank tread is the least of her worries. The government never does anything without an ulterior motive. Jake could be the key to success…or just another bad day at the office for the Zeroes.

Product Warnings
Contains explicit language, intense action and violence, rampaging zombie hordes, a heroine with an attitude and flamethrower, Special Forces commandos, ninjas, apocalyptic necromancer capitalist machinations, absurd parody and mayhem, self-deluded humor, irreverence, geek humor, mutant cats, low-brow comedy, and banana-kiwi-flavored gelatin.

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 8/10

* * * 

I can't tell you how many times I giggled or snorted with laughter reading this book. A lot. It's very geeky, crazy and fun.

Everything is exaggerated, blown out of proportions and brimming with snark. The Zero Dog War is a parody on urban fantasy books and superhero comics, and a very well done one at that.

Take for example our supervillain necromancer who had to advertize for a minion because all his workforce consisted of zombies. His plan of world domination is to make gelatin with the help of zombies, which would reduce his expenses to a minimum and potentially  destroy gelatin market in US. Mwahaha! Don't say it wasn't funny!

Andrea's team is a riot. A sex and health food obsessed werewolf, a healer who fancies himself ninja, a tech guy who writes novels and games all the time, a conjurer who likes to play with hell bunnies from other dimensions... and so on.

Andrea herself is a tough gal who loves her team and tries to protect them no matter what, so when a commando guy is encroaching on her territory and her government contract makes him a team adviser, tempers fly and both have to learn to respect each other and work as partners.

It's violent, full of action, explosions, gadgetry and silly humour. If you liked Austin Powers and Kick Ass you will love this book.

* * *

Смешно, нелепо и очень весело. Такая интересная вышла пародия на городское фэнтэзи и экшн-фильм напополам с комиксами.

Мне кажется, что если вам понравился настрой Остина Пауэрса и Кик-Асс, то придётся по вкусу и эта книга.

Команда наёмников Андреи Уолкер переживает тяжёлые финансовые времена несмотря на их девиз "Первая пуля - бесплатная", и шикарный контракт с федеральным правительством приходится как нельзя кстати. По существу контракт лёгок, - убить некроманта и его зомби, вырабатывающих желатин на одной из фабрик и остановить его план по разрушению желатиновой продукции в США. Однако одним из условий выплаты денег становится принятие коммандо Джейка Сэндерса в команду в качестве советника, регулирующего операцию, и Андрея, привыкшая к роли лидера никак не может с этим смириться.

Среди взрывов, погонь, шумных битв и не менее шумных перепалок между наёмниками, Андрее и Джэйку предстоит научиться уважать профессионализм друг друга и начать работать в полном тандеме, иначе операция провалится полностью...

Задорно и полно специфического идиотского юмора. Очень поднимает настроение. Советую.