Nocturnal Book Reviews

"And when you forget things,  it's up to me to pick up the slack."
I said "You're full of shit." Because we both know that I am the most ludicrously overprepared woman in the world. I have a stack of neuroses that a toddler could use for a booster seat and those neuroses keep me braced for every possible contingency.
He asked, "Did you remember the duct tape?"
"In three colors."
"How about the handcuff master key?"
"Two different kinds," I said.
"And an extra shooter? With ammo?"
"I brought four and if you want something small enough to stash, you can take your pick."

"Do you have any kohl? I don't usually wear any eye makeup, myself, but I think I could use some tonight."
"Do I have any? Woman, I could write a book with it.
.....
You'd better let me put it on you."
"What? No. I may not be Rembrandt with a stick of liner, but I'm not a monkey at the obelisk, either."
"My makeup, my rules."
"I can't believe you even brought makeup."
"I'm sorry, have we met? Of course I brought makeup."
"To a reconnaissance operation?"
He shut me up with, "In San Francisco? Hell yes, I brought makeup. And oh, look - it's an emergency supply that you failed to pack."

"Your job as a ghoul is to serve and assist.  Ostensibly, you are kissing ass because you want to be a vampire someday. Got it?"
"Got it." He said it like he was already plotting my death. I was in for a humiliating demise, I could tell. Probably something involving autoerotic asphyxiation and small rodents."