Top 5 Ways to protect yourself from a Telepath, a guest post with alex hughes
Hi, folks! Please, welcome Alexandra Hughes, an author of a very intriguing urban fantasy Clean!
In celebration of the release of Clean (and in preparation for the inevitable takeover of the Telepath’s Guild), today’s blog post is a handy-dandy guide to protecting yourself from a telepath out to read your mind.
5. Distance is Your Friend.
Like everything else in life, the further away you are from a telepath, the less they can hurt you. If walking across the street isn’t doing it for you, try moving across the state.
4. Think About Something Else.
This one’s harder than it looks. We all know what happens when you try not to think about the pink elephant in the room – but, that pink elephant is surprisingly effective to distract the telepath from your Aunt Addie’s secret stash of gold hidden in the walls. Choose your elephant carefully.
3. When in Doubt, Multiplication Tables.
If your brain keeps trying to think the wrong thing, head it off at the pass by singing an annoying song to yourself or reciting multiplication tables. Who knows? The telepath might get bored and move on to other innocent bystanders.
2. Think Physical.
Can’t distract or bore your telepath into letting you go? Try throwing rocks. Most telepaths aren’t trained in fistfights, and a little physical pain will often break the concentration they need to deal with your mind. Needles, guns, and a heavy stomp to the insole are also very effective. Be sure there’s no police around to watch your move, though; you don’t want the telepath to claim you attacked him first.
1. Fight Fire With Fire.
For a very reasonable fee, the Telepath’s Guild will assign you a personalized Minder to make absolutely sure you’re safe in Mindspace. Plus, you’ll never need to remember where you left your keys again – your Minder can retrieve memories at no additional cost. When you can’t beat them, hire them.
I hope you enjoyed this helpful public service announcement.
Remember: telepaths are people too!
“A fun blend of Chinatown
and Blade Runner.”—James Knapp,author of State of Decay
Summary
RUTHLESS KILLER—OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND
I used to work for the Telepath’s Guild before they kicked me out for a drug habit that wasn’t entirely my fault. Now I work for the cops, helping Homicide Detective Isabella Cherabino put killers behind bars.
My ability to get inside the twisted minds of suspects makes me the best interrogator in the department. But the normals keep me on a short leash.
When the Tech Wars ripped the world apart, the Guild stepped up to save it. But they had to get scary to do it—real scary. Now the cops don’t trust the telepaths, the Guild doesn’t trust me, a serial killer is stalking the city—and I’m aching for a fix.
But I need to solve this case. Fast. I’ve just had a vision of the future: I’m the next to die.
Haha very useful advice!
ReplyDeletehahahaha..awesome post, I feel empowered!
ReplyDeleteOh I would be doomed I tell you
ReplyDeleteBAHAHAHA, I love number 3. I will mentally sing my heart out.
ReplyDeleteLast Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away. This year to save me from tears, I'm going to give it to someone special.
BRING IT, TELEPATH.
Christina, that song is so sticky you can never get it out of your head. I'm dreading Christmas holidays...
ReplyDelete