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The Vampire Shrink by Lynda Hilburn EARLY REVIEW + GIVEAWAY!

The Vampire Shrink by Lynda Hilburn (Kismet Knight #1)

review requested by the author,
ARC sent by Quercus


Synopsis from Goodreads
Kismet Knight, PhD, doesn't believe in the paranormal. She especially doesn't believe in vampires, but she begins to wise up when she is introduced to a handsome man named Devereux who claims to be 800 years old. Kismet doesn't buy his vampire story, but she also can't explain why she has such odd reactions and feelings when he is near. Then a client almost completely drained of blood staggers into her waiting room and two angry men force their way into her office, causing her to consider the possibility that she has run afoul of a vampire underworld. Enter FBI profiler Alan Stevens, who warns her that vampires are very real, and one is a murderer—a murderer who is after her.

Publication date: 1/09/2011


* * *
Before I start on the review, here is my heartfelt plea to Quercus!

Guys, honestly, the cover is atrocious - fake blood and peroxide-burnt hair? What were you thinking?!! It hurt my eyes. This is how you imagined delicious Devereux with his lustrous long hair the colour of moonlight? Like Curt Cobain-wannabe?


Now getting back to my review. This is a revised and extended version of the original story which I read in 2007. Of course, when Lynda HIlburn contacted me, I was very curious to see how the story will differ from what I remember.


the original cover
The Vampire Shrink was different in 2007 and it stayed refreshingly different in 2011, only got better. 


Kismet Knight is a young psychologist with her own practice in Denver. She is pretty, very clever being a daughter of two scientists; she breezed through her school and university at quicker pace than normal and as you can expect I'm leading you to the conclusion that she is a geek at heart, socially inept, have very few friends, she is still recovering from a broken relationship from 2 years ago and have more phobias than I can count on my fingers.


Enter her client, a vampire wannabe girl, who regularly goes to Gothic club The Crypt and worships his owner Devereux who she claims is an ancient vampire. Fascinated, Kismet decides to explore the subculture of people pretending to be vampires and die-hard Twilight fans, and *gasp* maybe write a research book on the subject. So she places an ad in the local paper calling herself The Vampire Psychologist.


All Hell breaks loose.


Enter Devereux, with whom the author had so much fun you won't believe it. He is just as beautiful and dramatic as Jean-Claude (at least his taste in clothes) and he's got every imaginable power you can give him. He even has a wand! *naughty, naughty, it's not what you were thinking about*


Enter vampires with multiple mental disorders, trail of bodies drained of blood, psycho killers, different dimensions, Druids, magic and a gorgeous FBI agent a la Mulder.


Because Kismet is so unsure of herself and doesn't handle relationship very well, some of the things which would have bothered me in a different book are actually amusing. Devereux is not below being a pompous ass and directing Kismet's life, and because it's an untried field for doctor Knight she stumbles and flails a lot.


Kismet also has a peculiar self-deprecating sense of humor and her inner geek comes out at the most unfortunate time. I loved the references to Twilight, Harry Potter and even Jocker from Batman. I loved Doctor Knight even if I wasn't keen on all Devereux yummy goodness. Sorry, I just love my vampires dangerously wicked, down and dirty... *grinning* although this man wasn't without some major talents.


But Kismet? Kismet I definitely want to know more about. *hint-hint*


Favorite quote:
He brought his hands around from behind him. They held a huge bouquet of pink roses and a box of chocolates.
"Gifts for you, my love."
He leaned in and brushed my lips lightly with his. The familiar, delicious scent of him filled my nostrils and my lips instinctively puckered in anticipation of more of the same.
Instead he burst out laughing. "You have pigs on your feet!" 
(Kismet is wearing Miss Piggy slippers)

Buy This Book from Book Depository, Free Delivery World Wide

* * * 
Когда я прочитала эту книгу впервые в 2007 году, не скажу что книга особо впечалила. В этот раз, читая переизданный и развёрнутый материал, я своё мнение поменяла. То ли изменилась я, то ли хорошо переписали книгу, но мне понравилось.

Кисмет, наш психолог, самый настоящий ботаник, и вот поэтому за ней наблюдать очень весело. У неё полно фобий, и она не умеет общаться с людьми за исключением моментов, когда она помогает им в профессиональном качестве.

И тут к ней приходит один  из клиентов - молоденькая девочка, которая хочет стать вампиром, одевается как Эльвира - повелительница Тьмы и носит фальшивые клыки. Девочка - завсегдатай готичного клуба Крипт и огромная поклонница его хозяина Дэверо, который называет себя вампиром.

Заинтересовавшись в субкультуре фанов вампиризма и Сумерек, Кисмет решает провести расследование и написать о ней книгу. Она шлёт объявление в местную газету о том, что она Вампирский Психолог, и тут начинается всяческая чертовщина - куча обескровленных тел, завораживающий Дэверо, шибко похожий на Жан-Клода, только без флёра "плохого мальчика", вампиры-психопаты и вампиры-шизофреники, различные измерения и прочая безумная хрень.

Автор завернула Дэверо так, что невозможно не хихикать, так как воспринимать того серьёзно нельзя - он и перемещается в пространстве, и рисует, и местный Гарри Поттер, и богатый бизнесмен, и провидец. Вы об этом подумайте, - и оно у него найдётся. А ещё он ведёт себя иногда как напыщенный болван... Сведите вместе неловкого ботаника и напыщенного драматичного вампира и... результат довольно интересен.

Не скажу, что вампир мне пришёлся по вкусу, но о Кисмет я безусловно хочу узнать побольше.

8/10

Giveaway
 I'm giving away my ARC of The Vampire Shrink by Lynda Hilburn. Because of the weight I have to restrict it to UK/EU, otherwise the postage cost will be too much.

The Rules
1. The giveaway is for EU/UK and ends 14/09/11.
2. To enter answer a question What was the most unusual vampire book you've ever read? and leave your email address.
3. Extra entries as usual:
+1 for being a GFC follower (please befriend me publicly, I can't see when it's private)
+1 for Networked Blogs follower
+1 for spreading the word (please provide links) through social media - Twitter, Facebook, etc.
Good luck!

Я отдаю в хорошие руки свою копию книги The Vampire Shrink by Lynda Hilburn.

Правила
1. Контест открыт для жителей Великобритании и Европейского Союза (извините, мои хорошие, книга тяжёлая, и отсылать её за пределы ЕС дорого) и заканчивается 14/09/11.
2. Для участия ответьте на вопрос Самая необычная вампирская книга, что вы когда-либо читали? и оставьте свой имэйл.
3. Дополнительные очки можно заработать так:
+1 GFC follower (должны следовать публично, иначе я вас не увижу в друзьях)
+1 for Networked Blogs follower
+1 за распространение инфо о контесте черезTwitter, Facebook, ЖЖ и т.д. оставьте ссылки.
Удачи!
                                     
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